My car broke down on the highway at 1:30 AM this morning. It was having strange electrical problems. The airbag light was flashing, the air conditioner went out, my headlights went very dim. Soon a cop pulled me over and I explained what was happening. He admired the pair of hiking shoes on the floorboard of my back seat, told me he’d bought a very similar pair, but with blue flames on the side. I told him it was too late for me to call anyone for a ride, so he patted me down, searched my bag, and gave me a ride to the Shell station where I called a cab.
This morning I had the car towed to the mechanic that I’ve been using since I was in high school. It’s operated by a very nice southern family. In addition to repairing cars they sing in a gospel band. They sell CDs of their music right there in the shop, displayed on the counter in the waiting room which is decorated like a quaint and comfortable, southern, living room. A painted, decorative wood stove, pieces of embroidery with Bible verses, deep captain’s chairs, a claw-foot sofa and a large portrait of two teenaged boys in khakis and dress-shirts, their guileless faces wide and white. My trust in their skill with automobiles and the soundness of their business ethics is unshakeable.
The shop is closed on Saturdays and Sundays. The tow truck driver slid my car into a spot in their parking lot, I paid him and he left. As I was filling out one of the printed envelopes that the shop provides for the car keys of weekend and overnight drop-offs I began to notice a bird squawking and flapping around above me, a black and white jay (?) of some kind, on and around a power line. Then it dove for me.
The first time it dove for me I thought it was just a fluke, but it soon became apparent that this bird had beef with me. It kept griping at me and occasionally swooping and diving in my general direction. I moved across the parking lot to finish filling out the envelope, but it followed me, perched on a nearby tree branch and continued to bitch and flap about. It took one more swooping pass at me before I confronted it verbally (see video), after which it left me alone. I finished filling out the envelope, sealed my car key inside, dropped it through the mail flap and got the hell out of there.
